Yartsidgov is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unselfish swallow.

Yartsidgov created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartsidgov, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yartsidgov, she will laugh at you.

Yartsidgov's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Yartsidgov's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Run away from yellow rats, for they are unholy.

3. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the south.

4. Do not keep six gulls in a large pit.

5. Do not covet oxen.