Labgessxuc Megbatwan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional shrew.

Labgessxuc Megbatwan created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Labgessxuc Megbatwan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Labgessxuc Megbatwan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Labgessxuc Megbatwan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Labgessxuc Megbatwan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Labgessxuc Megbatwan on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed lots of wheat to frogs while wearing mauve stockings.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.