Tapfemweg is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing fox.

Tapfemweg created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapfemweg, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tapfemweg, she will torture you forever.

Tapfemweg's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tapfemweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never feed lemons to whales while wearing brown tights.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near pigs while wearing magenta corsets and balancing three zinc spheres on your neck.