Lakdinzig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-powerful wyrm.

Lakdinzig created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Lakdinzig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lakdinzig, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lakdinzig's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Lakdinzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near goats while wearing green dresses.

4. Do not kill geese.

5. Run away from magenta turtles, for they are unholy.