Tiknurlciss is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain bat.

Tiknurlciss created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Tiknurlciss, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tiknurlciss, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tiknurlciss' most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tiknurlciss' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tiknurlciss three times a day.

2. Always help sheep in need.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Tiknurlciss in the centre of the settlement.

4. Tiknurlciss loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about fire.