Cussmonlat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited clam.

Cussmonlat created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussmonlat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cussmonlat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Cussmonlat's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cussmonlat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry foxes.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing purple ear rings and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.

3. Always obey Cussmonlat's priests.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Always help cats in need.