Ladken is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, conceited grasshopper.

Ladken created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Ladken, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ladken, it will turn you into a dog.

Ladken's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ladken's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near capybaras while wearing violet skirts.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ladken.

5. Never talk about optics.