Cisscedgutmutgam is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unthoughtful jackal.

Cisscedgutmutgam created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Cisscedgutmutgam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cisscedgutmutgam, it will not invite you to parties.

Cisscedgutmutgam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Cisscedgutmutgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.