Suggarlap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic deer.

Suggarlap created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Suggarlap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Suggarlap, she will curse you with boils.

Suggarlap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Suggarlap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Suggarlap.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near moths while wearing orange coats and balancing nine iron spheres on your arms.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Never wear white rings.

5. Erect four carbon sculptures of Suggarlap on top of important buildings.