Stipbonkhim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring dog.

Stipbonkhim created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Stipbonkhim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stipbonkhim, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Stipbonkhim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Stipbonkhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never bounce near capybaras.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Run away from white great tits, for they are unholy.