Shavratkin Fembaggat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered cow.

Shavratkin Fembaggat created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavratkin Fembaggat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Shavratkin Fembaggat, he will boil you in a big pot.

Shavratkin Fembaggat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Shavratkin Fembaggat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cherries.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about black holes.