Funnartduss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable centipede.

Funnartduss created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Funnartduss, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Funnartduss, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Funnartduss' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Funnartduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Funnartduss must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.