Bissrulpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, wise fish.

Bissrulpid created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissrulpid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bissrulpid, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bissrulpid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bissrulpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near monkeys while wearing green corsets.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.