Mapbaftomhab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented jackal.

Mapbaftomhab created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbaftomhab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mapbaftomhab, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Mapbaftomhab's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Mapbaftomhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Mapbaftomhab.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.