Paskamcet is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, emotional narwhal.

Paskamcet created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Paskamcet, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Paskamcet, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Paskamcet's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Paskamcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Hide if three great tits approach from the east.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.