Hivflagcum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, calm cobra.

Hivflagcum created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivflagcum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hivflagcum, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hivflagcum's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Hivflagcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Hide if three dogs approach from the east.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not eat spinach.