Bontettikar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring dove.

Bontettikar created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bontettikar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bontettikar, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bontettikar's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bontettikar's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Run away if nine sheep approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.