Teenparkxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, grumpy goat.

Teenparkxuck created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Teenparkxuck, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Teenparkxuck, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Teenparkxuck's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Teenparkxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Teenparkxuck on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Do not commit murder.