Monlogxenbep is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, strong walrus.

Monlogxenbep created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monlogxenbep, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Monlogxenbep, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Monlogxenbep's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Monlogxenbep's Holy Commandments

1. Monlogxenbep loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick goats.

4. Monlogxenbep loves sharks, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about asteroids.