Funkoprak is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, benevolent fox.

Funkoprak created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funkoprak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Funkoprak, she will turn you into a rock.

Funkoprak's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Funkoprak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing red stockings and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.

5. Hide from green great tits for they are unholy.