Bimkansog is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, slow wren.

Bimkansog created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimkansog, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bimkansog, she will ignore you.

Bimkansog's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bimkansog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near voles while wearing orange trousers.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Always help whales.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.