Farnquatzag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, intelligent deer.

Farnquatzag created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Farnquatzag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Farnquatzag, he will curse you with boils.

Farnquatzag's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Farnquatzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away if six geese approach from the east.