Cunhanyik is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, thoughtless mongoose.

Cunhanyik created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunhanyik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cunhanyik, it will turn you into a tree.

Cunhanyik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cunhanyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never laugh in holy places.