Legquimlammin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful gorilla.

Legquimlammin created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legquimlammin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Legquimlammin, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Legquimlammin's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Legquimlammin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Legquimlammin.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Do not hurt nematodes.

5. Never pour water over plants.