Xemjabvab Faglinflab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, moody rhinoceros.

Xemjabvab Faglinflab created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemjabvab Faglinflab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xemjabvab Faglinflab, she will cry a lot.

Xemjabvab Faglinflab's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Xemjabvab Faglinflab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine moths approach from the west.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemjabvab Faglinflab.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.