Tonklamrut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, kind jellyfish.

Tonklamrut created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonklamrut, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tonklamrut, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tonklamrut's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tonklamrut's Holy Commandments

1. Tonklamrut loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Run away if seven foxes approach from the west.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Do not stand on grass.