Beggamtip Camtanfonquim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish narwhal.

Beggamtip Camtanfonquim created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beggamtip Camtanfonquim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Beggamtip Camtanfonquim, it will torture you forever.

Beggamtip Camtanfonquim's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Beggamtip Camtanfonquim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the west.

2. Always help sick snails.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think about optics near geese while wearing blue tights and balancing three copper spheres on your head.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Beggamtip Camtanfonquim.