Quartsislak is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, loving bird.

Quartsislak created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartsislak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quartsislak, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quartsislak's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quartsislak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.