Targwadcummotrilxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unjust shark.

Targwadcummotrilxuc created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targwadcummotrilxuc, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Targwadcummotrilxuc, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Targwadcummotrilxuc's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Targwadcummotrilxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to cats while wearing orange shorts.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not speak about peanuts.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.