Zankadhak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, capable alligator.

Zankadhak created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zankadhak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zankadhak, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Zankadhak's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Zankadhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.