Legbimveenxem is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonourable slug.

Legbimveenxem created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legbimveenxem, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Legbimveenxem, she will turn you into a slug.

Legbimveenxem's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Legbimveenxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.