Sigtarplarg is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, thoughtless mole.

Sigtarplarg created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigtarplarg, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sigtarplarg, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sigtarplarg's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sigtarplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never talk about sheep.

5. Do not eat carrots.