Flignarlkap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, stupid mink.

Flignarlkap created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flignarlkap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flignarlkap, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flignarlkap's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flignarlkap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.