Bottagfad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable giraffe.

Bottagfad created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bottagfad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bottagfad, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bottagfad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bottagfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Bottagfad loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Bottagfad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Hide if nine tapirs approach from the north.