Goffudkam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing dragon.

Goffudkam created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Goffudkam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Goffudkam, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Goffudkam's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Goffudkam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Goffudkam.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Never play with disobedient children.