Hadomtceb is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, staggering hydra.

Hadomtceb created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hadomtceb, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hadomtceb, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hadomtceb's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hadomtceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown ear rings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Hide from white aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Fast once a month.