Kabcarkipflow Sabfomnib is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful cow.

Kabcarkipflow Sabfomnib created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Kabcarkipflow Sabfomnib, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kabcarkipflow Sabfomnib, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kabcarkipflow Sabfomnib's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kabcarkipflow Sabfomnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.