Lanzogcetgovdampigwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable chicken.

Lanzogcetgovdampigwig created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanzogcetgovdampigwig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lanzogcetgovdampigwig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Lanzogcetgovdampigwig's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Lanzogcetgovdampigwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never laugh near nematodes.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not hurt snails.