Sandbumlit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic giraffe.

Sandbumlit created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandbumlit, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sandbumlit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sandbumlit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Sandbumlit's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.