Siggessrat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless guinea pig.

Siggessrat created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Siggessrat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Siggessrat, he will turn you into a mole.

Siggessrat's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Siggessrat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry foxes.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Siggessrat in the centre of the settlement.