Bassratstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic badger.

Bassratstaf created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassratstaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bassratstaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bassratstaf's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Bassratstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bassratstaf.

5. Do not hurt sheep.