Stipbagmid is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unfair walrus.

Stipbagmid created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipbagmid, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Stipbagmid, he will be mildly annoyed.

Stipbagmid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Stipbagmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near pigs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stipbagmid.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Stipbagmid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.