Nulnanken is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, generous goose.

Nulnanken created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Nulnanken, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nulnanken, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Nulnanken's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nulnanken's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are not to be trusted.

2. Retreat if six snakes approach from the north.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Never look in ponds.