Vilgadpasmotbassnelkapbop is a god.

It takes the form of a small, sapient jackal.

Vilgadpasmotbassnelkapbop created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilgadpasmotbassnelkapbop, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vilgadpasmotbassnelkapbop, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vilgadpasmotbassnelkapbop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Vilgadpasmotbassnelkapbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to porpoises while wearing dresses.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Run away if four goats approach from the south.