Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, flying fairy.

Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis, he will turn you into a goat.

Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Daphenmidbagsawgubbamsis.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.