Labvolveg is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Labvolveg created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labvolveg, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Labvolveg, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Labvolveg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Labvolveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never paint your head yellow.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.