Fatjiplit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unfair wasp.

Fatjiplit created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Fatjiplit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fatjiplit, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Fatjiplit's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fatjiplit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fatjiplit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.