Wotranhogvoldag is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wotranhogvoldag created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotranhogvoldag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotranhogvoldag, he will jump up and down on your head.

Wotranhogvoldag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Wotranhogvoldag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to ducks while wearing cyan corsets.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Wotranhogvoldag on top of all buildings.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look in ponds.