Bopshavham is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, slow beaver.

Bopshavham created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopshavham, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bopshavham, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bopshavham's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Bopshavham's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to music.