Rakgudcin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, grumpy lobster.

Rakgudcin created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakgudcin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rakgudcin, it will turn you into a worm.

Rakgudcin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Rakgudcin's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Rakgudcin on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near geese while wearing mauve shirts.